Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
