I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
