You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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