yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
