? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Randomize
