Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize