I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
