what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
