Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
