I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize