my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
