The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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