After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
