He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
