I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
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I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
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Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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