Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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