Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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