so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
