I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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