pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
