Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
