I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
