new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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