Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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