We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
