Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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