Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize