the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
