tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
