so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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