apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
