My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize