either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
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I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
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You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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