Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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