too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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