I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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