I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time to smoke my breakfast
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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