who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i think i have two assholes
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
So vagazzling was a success
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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