i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
