just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
