dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
