He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me