I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
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He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
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just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying