apparently the secret to your success is patron
im six kinds of drunk right now
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
