i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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