why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
