Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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