at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
