i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
