You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
