is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
