I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
