does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
