super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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