you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
