people are starting to question the shark bite story
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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