i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Houston, we have a blender
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize