I am in a vortex of obligation.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
