I am puke
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize