So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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