I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize