Jerry, you need to find god
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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