In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
